When I think back on my life up to this point, I find that my happiest moments have always been the ones I've shared with others. As much as I'd like to say that these are all memories consisting of great times with my closest friends, the reality is that sometimes it's not even about that at all. Sometimes it's just about removing yourself from your comfort zone and going somewhere and being social, anywhere. Even if you don't enjoy the people you're with at the moment. (Trust me, I very rarely enjoy most people for more than a few minutes at a time). As I procure snapshots of my life and its moments that others would find interesting in the ongoing reality show dialogue in my head (don't pretend that you don't do the same thing), I start to see some of the things I actually am enjoying, even if I don't realize it at the time. Or even if I choose not to admit it to myself. The fact of the matter is, as much as I detest being touched by sweaty people and being trapped in small, smoky venues, sometimes it's quite fun to disappear in a dark room and let the pulse of the music compel you to say whatever you wish to the person next to you.
For literally all of my life, up until quite recently, I had one place that consumed most of my thoughts (besides Disney World, because I totally dressed up in my custom-made 101 Dalmations costume...for like 3 months. This is not a joke). This place was my absolute favorite thing, ever, and when I wasn't there I was talking about being there. I can't tell you how many times I saw my friends get bored with me, which eventually led to blanket rules that I was not allowed to bring that to the table anymore. In reality, they were just incapable of understanding. If you don't grow up being a part of a place like that, you can't see the appeal. Ask anyone that's had one that's such a part of them, a camp that is. It's funny, as I think about this I realize that my experiences at camp each summer are kind of the only memories I didn't share with my childhood friends (that are still some of my closest friends, because I'm not capable of liking anyone as much as the people I was forced to grow up with for some reason). I realize at this moment that this is perhaps why they seemed to resent them. Anyhow, I've been doing a lot of thinking as to why I really loved this place so much. Could it really just be the location, or is it much more than that? It is most definitely about the people that you share those experiences with. Yes, certainly there is a major connection to the land and the place in which events take place, but ultimately it's about what you make of it. Technically, camp could have been anywhere. I loved being with the people, and in such an intimate way. It's not just seeing your friends in class, at work, or out on the town for a brief time; it was spending almost all of your time with them. Even the people you don't especially enjoy, those that you'd probably avoid in real life, you seem to feel a special connection to. They understand.
Another major factor in this is the connection to the outdoors. As I continue to analyze these memories, as well as the ideas I have for things I'd like to do in the future, they are pretty much all outside. And mostly on or near the water as well. (I'll never understand people who live in places that don't have everyday access to water. I don't know how they don't feel trapped. Maybe they do). I remember being out on the boat with my family, just a young girl probably about 7, and seeing my dad drinking a glass of red wine. I asked him if I could have a sip, to which he informed me I wouldn't like it. Of course, I insisted. And of course, he was completely right. "How could he like that sour monstrosity?," I thought. "I'll never enjoy that." (Lies). I remember driving a golf cart down the pier with a friend in an intense thunder storm...and then jumping off into the water below. Just as we leaped in to the water, this huge bolt of lighting and its simultaneous thunder boom exploded. It's up there with one of the moments I've felt most alive. Canoeing down a freshwater river with friends, being eighteen, and bringing along a mustard bottle or two, filled with tequila, lying in the grass and looking up at the stars - so close to the person I have a crush on, waking up early to go watch a sunrise on the last day of a long summer, dancing my heart out at my favorite place - as the rain pours down and singing along with all my friends I haven't seen all year, looking at that boy from across a room filled with friends and memories and allowing that moment to take you somewhere new, even though it shouldn't; these are some of my favorite moments. Why is it that they're so few and far between?
What I've learned:
Go outside. Be social. It's great to let loose sometimes, and if you can find people to do that with more often - do it. You won't regret the memories you make. I wish it wasn't so difficult to remember that. You need to let other people in to really find out who you are. Even though relationships are difficult, and scary at times. It's the most comforting thing in the world to know that someone really knows you. That way, if you get lost, someone just might be there to remind you what you were looking for all along.
For literally all of my life, up until quite recently, I had one place that consumed most of my thoughts (besides Disney World, because I totally dressed up in my custom-made 101 Dalmations costume...for like 3 months. This is not a joke). This place was my absolute favorite thing, ever, and when I wasn't there I was talking about being there. I can't tell you how many times I saw my friends get bored with me, which eventually led to blanket rules that I was not allowed to bring that to the table anymore. In reality, they were just incapable of understanding. If you don't grow up being a part of a place like that, you can't see the appeal. Ask anyone that's had one that's such a part of them, a camp that is. It's funny, as I think about this I realize that my experiences at camp each summer are kind of the only memories I didn't share with my childhood friends (that are still some of my closest friends, because I'm not capable of liking anyone as much as the people I was forced to grow up with for some reason). I realize at this moment that this is perhaps why they seemed to resent them. Anyhow, I've been doing a lot of thinking as to why I really loved this place so much. Could it really just be the location, or is it much more than that? It is most definitely about the people that you share those experiences with. Yes, certainly there is a major connection to the land and the place in which events take place, but ultimately it's about what you make of it. Technically, camp could have been anywhere. I loved being with the people, and in such an intimate way. It's not just seeing your friends in class, at work, or out on the town for a brief time; it was spending almost all of your time with them. Even the people you don't especially enjoy, those that you'd probably avoid in real life, you seem to feel a special connection to. They understand.
Another major factor in this is the connection to the outdoors. As I continue to analyze these memories, as well as the ideas I have for things I'd like to do in the future, they are pretty much all outside. And mostly on or near the water as well. (I'll never understand people who live in places that don't have everyday access to water. I don't know how they don't feel trapped. Maybe they do). I remember being out on the boat with my family, just a young girl probably about 7, and seeing my dad drinking a glass of red wine. I asked him if I could have a sip, to which he informed me I wouldn't like it. Of course, I insisted. And of course, he was completely right. "How could he like that sour monstrosity?," I thought. "I'll never enjoy that." (Lies). I remember driving a golf cart down the pier with a friend in an intense thunder storm...and then jumping off into the water below. Just as we leaped in to the water, this huge bolt of lighting and its simultaneous thunder boom exploded. It's up there with one of the moments I've felt most alive. Canoeing down a freshwater river with friends, being eighteen, and bringing along a mustard bottle or two, filled with tequila, lying in the grass and looking up at the stars - so close to the person I have a crush on, waking up early to go watch a sunrise on the last day of a long summer, dancing my heart out at my favorite place - as the rain pours down and singing along with all my friends I haven't seen all year, looking at that boy from across a room filled with friends and memories and allowing that moment to take you somewhere new, even though it shouldn't; these are some of my favorite moments. Why is it that they're so few and far between?
What I've learned:
Go outside. Be social. It's great to let loose sometimes, and if you can find people to do that with more often - do it. You won't regret the memories you make. I wish it wasn't so difficult to remember that. You need to let other people in to really find out who you are. Even though relationships are difficult, and scary at times. It's the most comforting thing in the world to know that someone really knows you. That way, if you get lost, someone just might be there to remind you what you were looking for all along.