There are several moments I can think of in my life that I have found myself in situations feeling trapped, uninspired, or generally disinterested. Despite this, I always find myself making some sort of reason as to why I should continue to remain idle. It would be rude. This is an essential step for success. I'm supposed to do this. There's nothing better happening. We have lots of excuses. Lately, I've been asking myself why I do the things I do. Am I really making decisions because I want to, or am I just classically conditioned to reach for the things that I'm convinced I'm seeking?
Do you ever sit through a movie that you think is awful, hoping it will get better? Have you ever wasted hours reading and rereading your news feed, waiting for something exciting to peak your interest - not even realizing how long you've been doing it for? How many times have you spent time with that person you don't really enjoy all that much, simply because you have nothing better to do? I can tell you that these are all things that I have done. What I see is that people have a tendency to just remain at a comfortable constant in their lives. This serves many purposes, some external, and many internal. Without focusing too much on the psychology behind the reasons people ignore their wants, dreams, and goals, and/or put them off to a distant future, there are a few major reasons that are apparent to me:
*We don't really try, so we can blame others for our fate.
*We love to have something to complain about.
*We are afraid.
I will admit that I have a bit of difficulty connecting with people that do not possess a similar level of ambition for their passions as myself. Sometimes I can be hard on those people. It is absolutely okay if you are happy with the way your life is. If you do not wish to continue to grow, that is your decision. (I'm trying here...) This post is not about you. It's about all the people out there that are ignoring their real desires and suffering through the consequences. (And making everyone else suffer along with them, as they tend to project these distastes to anyone who will listen after a certain amount of time). If you go to work every day and complain about your job, or your life, or your boyfriend who broke up with you...you know who you are, this is for you. Don't bring your baggage in to every situation you experience, and if you do, keep it to yourself. If dissatisfaction of your life is all you have to discuss then you should realize that you are not at all interesting. It's true that people connect through negativity, that's why complaining works to draw people in. But realize this - you will attract what you expel. The things you discuss with others, and not just your close friends, but everyone you interact with, makes up a large part of who you are. You will attract the type of people that respond to the way you act. Or rather - you get what you give. Others can sense your energy, and they'll remember how you made them feel. Learn to control that and you will find that you will begin to have better relationships. There is a time and a place for everything.
It is true that there are certain things that we must do to help us in reaching the goals we wish to pursue in life. Sometimes you will not find these things to be exactly what you would like to be doing. You should still occupy yourself with these tasks. Don't expect to skip essential steps, just because you want to cross the finish line before everyone else. However, know how to tell the difference between a necessary stepping stone and something that is holding you back from your potential. Only you can be the judge of that.
I remember being a young child in bible school one evening. After being taught the lesson that said, "Always listen to God's will for you. Don't simply follow your heart, follow what He has planned for you and everything will work out," I raised my hand and asked the speaker how one could ever differentiate between the two. She responded saying something along the lines of, "You should not be selfish and do what you want, you should do what you think God wants for you." "But how do I know what God wants for me except by following my heart and doing things that make me happy?" "You cannot be selfish and do what you want, you must do what God wants," she said again. "I knowww. But didn't God make me special and give me the wants I have for a reason?" She didn't understand. Six year old Remy learned that night that even adults are afraid to ask powerful questions. I decided from that lesson that we are in fact born with skills for whatever reason. And if fate does exist, how else can we find where we belong without experiencing everything we can and follow down the paths those experiences lead us on? Obviously we're supposed to follow our hearts (or wherever our emotions really come from) or we wouldn't have them. And I've never been convinced by anyone else's opinion on the matter ever since.
What I've learned:
I am not at all certain that I am an expert in deciphering if I am making the right decisions or not. However, I decided long ago that it is best to do what makes you happy. When presented with a choice, struggle, or crossroad in life the most profound question for me always comes down to this: Will this make me happy? Happiness, I feel, is the only real validation that you are in the right place in life, or heading in that direction. If you don't love what you're doing, then don't do it. There are a million people that would be happy to be in your place. Think about the things in life that you really love and find a way to make them your major focus. If you want to go on vacation, go. If you don't like the way you look, then change it. Lose weight, exercise. Take responsibility for your actions and your aspirations. Commit to what you want and make it happen. Don't complain. Don't expect anyone to do anything for you. Tell your leaders what you want, and then prove your worth. But don't waste your whole life waiting for an opportunity that may never come. Only you can know when the time is right to make a life choice. If it's making you happy, truly happy, then it's probably exactly where you're supposed to be. But you only have one chance to get what you want out of life. I can see no reason to justify anything that you don't love. Be a good person, and try not to hurt people along the way. Have integrity and be consistent with the people you love. But do not let the choices you make be made to please anyone else or to run from who you really are. Yes, it's scary to fail. But isn't it much worse not to? I suppose that's up to you.
I crave adventure; romance. I like to get hurt, emotions are liberating. Memories are the greatest gift you could ever give yourself. Go play, and make lots of mistakes! Try not to stress too much about the consequences of your actions. If it's not worth the risk, then don't do it. Otherwise, get over it. You won't care about it soon enough. Trust me - I'm a perfectionist. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't create arbitrary lines that you can't cross. You're only hurting yourself. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting the results you're getting. A little change never hurt anybody. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. If you are presented with an appealing opportunity, do it. The lesson learned from the experience will guide you on your way to who you want to become.
Ask yourself this question -
What would you do if you weren't afraid?
I can't see how there could possibly be any other point to your life.
Do you ever sit through a movie that you think is awful, hoping it will get better? Have you ever wasted hours reading and rereading your news feed, waiting for something exciting to peak your interest - not even realizing how long you've been doing it for? How many times have you spent time with that person you don't really enjoy all that much, simply because you have nothing better to do? I can tell you that these are all things that I have done. What I see is that people have a tendency to just remain at a comfortable constant in their lives. This serves many purposes, some external, and many internal. Without focusing too much on the psychology behind the reasons people ignore their wants, dreams, and goals, and/or put them off to a distant future, there are a few major reasons that are apparent to me:
*We don't really try, so we can blame others for our fate.
*We love to have something to complain about.
*We are afraid.
I will admit that I have a bit of difficulty connecting with people that do not possess a similar level of ambition for their passions as myself. Sometimes I can be hard on those people. It is absolutely okay if you are happy with the way your life is. If you do not wish to continue to grow, that is your decision. (I'm trying here...) This post is not about you. It's about all the people out there that are ignoring their real desires and suffering through the consequences. (And making everyone else suffer along with them, as they tend to project these distastes to anyone who will listen after a certain amount of time). If you go to work every day and complain about your job, or your life, or your boyfriend who broke up with you...you know who you are, this is for you. Don't bring your baggage in to every situation you experience, and if you do, keep it to yourself. If dissatisfaction of your life is all you have to discuss then you should realize that you are not at all interesting. It's true that people connect through negativity, that's why complaining works to draw people in. But realize this - you will attract what you expel. The things you discuss with others, and not just your close friends, but everyone you interact with, makes up a large part of who you are. You will attract the type of people that respond to the way you act. Or rather - you get what you give. Others can sense your energy, and they'll remember how you made them feel. Learn to control that and you will find that you will begin to have better relationships. There is a time and a place for everything.
It is true that there are certain things that we must do to help us in reaching the goals we wish to pursue in life. Sometimes you will not find these things to be exactly what you would like to be doing. You should still occupy yourself with these tasks. Don't expect to skip essential steps, just because you want to cross the finish line before everyone else. However, know how to tell the difference between a necessary stepping stone and something that is holding you back from your potential. Only you can be the judge of that.
I remember being a young child in bible school one evening. After being taught the lesson that said, "Always listen to God's will for you. Don't simply follow your heart, follow what He has planned for you and everything will work out," I raised my hand and asked the speaker how one could ever differentiate between the two. She responded saying something along the lines of, "You should not be selfish and do what you want, you should do what you think God wants for you." "But how do I know what God wants for me except by following my heart and doing things that make me happy?" "You cannot be selfish and do what you want, you must do what God wants," she said again. "I knowww. But didn't God make me special and give me the wants I have for a reason?" She didn't understand. Six year old Remy learned that night that even adults are afraid to ask powerful questions. I decided from that lesson that we are in fact born with skills for whatever reason. And if fate does exist, how else can we find where we belong without experiencing everything we can and follow down the paths those experiences lead us on? Obviously we're supposed to follow our hearts (or wherever our emotions really come from) or we wouldn't have them. And I've never been convinced by anyone else's opinion on the matter ever since.
What I've learned:
I am not at all certain that I am an expert in deciphering if I am making the right decisions or not. However, I decided long ago that it is best to do what makes you happy. When presented with a choice, struggle, or crossroad in life the most profound question for me always comes down to this: Will this make me happy? Happiness, I feel, is the only real validation that you are in the right place in life, or heading in that direction. If you don't love what you're doing, then don't do it. There are a million people that would be happy to be in your place. Think about the things in life that you really love and find a way to make them your major focus. If you want to go on vacation, go. If you don't like the way you look, then change it. Lose weight, exercise. Take responsibility for your actions and your aspirations. Commit to what you want and make it happen. Don't complain. Don't expect anyone to do anything for you. Tell your leaders what you want, and then prove your worth. But don't waste your whole life waiting for an opportunity that may never come. Only you can know when the time is right to make a life choice. If it's making you happy, truly happy, then it's probably exactly where you're supposed to be. But you only have one chance to get what you want out of life. I can see no reason to justify anything that you don't love. Be a good person, and try not to hurt people along the way. Have integrity and be consistent with the people you love. But do not let the choices you make be made to please anyone else or to run from who you really are. Yes, it's scary to fail. But isn't it much worse not to? I suppose that's up to you.
I crave adventure; romance. I like to get hurt, emotions are liberating. Memories are the greatest gift you could ever give yourself. Go play, and make lots of mistakes! Try not to stress too much about the consequences of your actions. If it's not worth the risk, then don't do it. Otherwise, get over it. You won't care about it soon enough. Trust me - I'm a perfectionist. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't create arbitrary lines that you can't cross. You're only hurting yourself. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting the results you're getting. A little change never hurt anybody. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. If you are presented with an appealing opportunity, do it. The lesson learned from the experience will guide you on your way to who you want to become.
Ask yourself this question -
What would you do if you weren't afraid?
I can't see how there could possibly be any other point to your life.